its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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