Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
