You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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