Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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