he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
