Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
