wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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