Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
