This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
