it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
