cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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