Why are handjobs necessary in class?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
