id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
