no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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