sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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