Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
