you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
