So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
