almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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