You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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