I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
