RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
