Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
