): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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