Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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