I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
