You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
