I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im holly from the hills drunk
worst night to have a conscience
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
