careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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