I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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