im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
