i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
