I accidentally had phone sex last night
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
