i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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