Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dignity is for republicans.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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