this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
