Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
