I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
