On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
