There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
