Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
