A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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