Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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