i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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