it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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