He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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