And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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