Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
