I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
