In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
