im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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